A Personal Reflection on Behavioral Patterns

 

The well-known saying, “If you want to change another person, first you must change yourself,” is not only popular in Japan but also in many other countries. This quote implies that by changing oneself, one's relationship with others can change, leading the other person to naturally change as well. However, changing one's own thought and behavior patterns is easier said than done. Reflecting on my past experiences, there are two reasons why my thinking and behavior patterns have changed significantly. One instance is when someone pointed out my flaws, which hurt my self-esteem. I used that anger as a catalyst to independently change my behavioral patterns for the better and form new habits. Another factor is observing exemplary behavior patterns in others without being explicitly pointed out. This triggered a sense of crisis in me, leading to independent and gradual changes in my behavior patterns, which eventually became habits. While the former and the latter differ in terms of awareness, they both had a profound and shocking impact on me. In my experience, the statement, “If you want to change the other person, first you must change yourself,” aligns more with the latter approach. This approach involves indirectly making the other person aware by setting an example.

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