From Doing to Being
Over the
decades, I developed the habit of devoting myself fully to achieving
professional goals. After retirement, I feared that abandoning this habit would
lead to personal decline. At the same time, I realized that maintaining such an
intense drive would become a major source of stress. So, I took time to reflect
on how I wanted to live the next chapter of my life. Eventually, I reached a
conclusion: I needed to shift the center of my thoughts and actions from a life
focused on “Doing” to one that also embraces “Being.” This change has allowed
me to restore a sense of balance between body and mind—something especially
important in my 60s. In Buddhist thought, “Doing” emphasizes actions and goal
achievement, while “Being” emphasizes presence, acceptance, and the value of
simply existing in the moment. Striking a balance between the two is vital. The
more we lean into “Doing” and become attached to outcomes, the more suffering
we experience when we fall short. In our younger years, we have the mental and
physical resilience to endure such setbacks. But in our 60s and beyond, our
capacity to absorb that strain diminishes. To preserve inner peace while still
working toward meaningful goals, it becomes necessary to strengthen the Being
mode—focusing on the process and letting go of excessive attachment to results.
In my case, I still value having goals, even after retirement, but I now try to
approach them with patience and a broader, long-term perspective. This mindset
also applies to relationships. When we push others too hard or expect them to
meet our demands, we are operating from the Doing mode. But by enhancing the
Being mode—respecting others as they are and valuing their presence—we foster
healthier connections and protect our own peace of mind.