The Deeper Reward

 

When I was working in an organization, I believed that accumulated efforts would naturally be rewarded—that a fair balance between investment and return would always be upheld. Yet in reality, opportunities for direct recognition or reward were far fewer than I expected. I felt this gap so strongly because I was convinced that the world had to be fair, despite the influence of my own ego and values shaping that belief. To reconcile this contradiction between expectation and reality, I chose a way of life in which I would continue working hard, even without the assurance of reward. Now, three years and three months into retirement, looking back on my 38-year career, I realize that while my efforts were not always rewarded immediately, they became the nourishment for my professional growth and laid the foundation for the fulfilling, happy life I enjoy today. In this sense, I now feel that my efforts were rewarded on a deeper level. Moreover, my determination to persist without expecting reward spared me from carrying regrets about my career. Today, in retirement, I face a personal challenge that demands long-term effort and self-sacrifice, with no expectation of return. In the midst of this inner conflict, I sometimes wonder why such a trial has come to me. Yet I also feel that my task is to find my own answer, accept it, and strengthen my resolve to endure this unknown test. If I can overcome it, I will grow spiritually and gain virtue. Seen in this light, this trial is not a coincidence, but a necessity.

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