The Deeper Reward
When I was working in an organization, I
believed that accumulated efforts would naturally be rewarded—that a fair
balance between investment and return would always be upheld. Yet in reality,
opportunities for direct recognition or reward were far fewer than I expected.
I felt this gap so strongly because I was convinced that the world had to be
fair, despite the influence of my own ego and values shaping that belief. To
reconcile this contradiction between expectation and reality, I chose a way of
life in which I would continue working hard, even without the assurance of
reward. Now, three years and three months into retirement, looking back on my
38-year career, I realize that while my efforts were not always rewarded
immediately, they became the nourishment for my professional growth and laid
the foundation for the fulfilling, happy life I enjoy today. In this sense, I
now feel that my efforts were rewarded on a deeper level. Moreover, my
determination to persist without expecting reward spared me from carrying
regrets about my career. Today, in retirement, I face a personal challenge that
demands long-term effort and self-sacrifice, with no expectation of return. In
the midst of this inner conflict, I sometimes wonder why such a trial has come
to me. Yet I also feel that my task is to find my own answer, accept it, and
strengthen my resolve to endure this unknown test. If I can overcome it, I will
grow spiritually and gain virtue. Seen in this light, this trial is not a
coincidence, but a necessity.